From Nine to Three: A Path to the Inner Child by owning our shadow.
Erick Sebastian Quimbayo
2 min read
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned on my Enneagram journey is that my growth point is Enneagram Type 3 — the Achiever.
It took me a while to realize that this isn’t just about becoming more productive or conventionally successful, but about something deeper and more uncomfortable.
For a Nine, integrating toward growth means owning our desire to be seen.
Because yes — we Enneagram Nines do want to shine.
Somewhere along the way, we internalized the belief that expressing this need for success or recognition is unnecessary — because, really, why bother?
I constantly have to fight an inner voice telling me to shut up if I’ve opened up too much in a conversation, out of fear of being “too much.” When it comes to facing my own ambitions and desires, I feel a deep pull that tells me it’s selfish to want to expand, to take up space.
It feels like, as a child, I learned to hide — as a survival mechanism.
As a Nine, I feel like I took many parts of myself and tucked them away out of fear: fear of being too intense, too ambitious, too bright — because others might see me as… I don’t know, annoying?
Even now, while drafting this blog post, there’s a small voice in the back of my head asking: Who are you to write any of this? Why would anyone care about what you have to say?
Funny thing is, even as someone who’s generally all-accepting and all-embracing, when I see someone being a “showoff,” expressing too much of themselves, or being overly confident, it makes me uncomfortable. It bothers me — which is conflicting, because of course, I want to like (and be liked by) everyone. 🙂
That led me to a realization: these uncomfortable feelings are connected to the parts of myself I’ve suppressed — the shadowed parts.
Who would I be if I allowed myself to be whole? I started to wonder.
What would happen if I reclaimed all the sides of who I am, before I learned to hide?
A driven man, perhaps. A joyful creator. Someone energetic and self-assured. Ambitious.
An Achiever.
